So where to start?
Well how about where I ended. After round 1 of clomid we decided to wait a little longer before trying so I went on the pill and have been on it for 4 months and recently went off of BC because the GYN wants to see if I can have normal cycles on my own. But before I jump to far ahead lets take a few steps back.
This blog is suppose to be the story of us....
First things first I am currently working at Payless Shoes and will soon be the Asst. Mngr. after the first of the year. Robert is working at Office Max we are doing really well have found a wonderful church Faith Church St. Louis and are still currently living with my parents. We are working on paying off debt slowly but hope to be debt free in 3 years. I also had my 10 mo check up since surgery and NO sign of Cancer. And all cultures came back NORMAL!! Patches is doing well no longer sick and is very obnoxious most days but we love him.
As of Dec. 19th I went off BC we've decided to let nature take it's course and hope to get pregnant real soon. I just finished 200mg of Clomid today and will start using ovulation sticks in hopes to get pregnant. We are more than excited to start trying to have a baby. I've lost 45lbs since the weight loss journey and am SO ready to add the baby weight!
So we shall see if things will change for the better...not gonna stress about it, putting it all in Gods Hands.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Updating the process
So we re now doing round 1 of clomid and hoping to get pregnant. Things are great here, Robert's working I am still looking for work and we have joined a gym. I've lost 12lbs Robert's lost 6lbs. We are still living with my parents but are slowly saving money for our own car and place. We've been having some medical issues with Patches our lil dog but he seems to be doing better now.
So July 19 was day 1 and finished it on the 23rd so now we are just waiting to see if I ovulate. WISH US LUCK!
So July 19 was day 1 and finished it on the 23rd so now we are just waiting to see if I ovulate. WISH US LUCK!
Friday, April 8, 2011
One thing We want most in life....
The hardest things in the world are the ones you can't control, trust me of all people I understand this saying more that most people.
PLEASE KNOW THIS IS GRAPHIC DETIALS THAT ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN TO READ SOME PARTS ARE DISTURBING.
As you have read my relationship with my husband has been very rocky, with medical and emotional issues. This time I'm taking you somewhere thats very near and hard on my heart......
My Pregnancies!!
I have been pregnant four times. But before I get there I'll start from the begininning.
When I was seven I started what doctors thought was my cycle, but then soon came to realize it was something wasn't right. I had many test and ultrasounds done, doctors came to the conclusion I would likely never have children of my own without fertitlity help and even then my chances were extremely low. So basically I was told not to count on ever getting pregnant.
I lost my virginity at 17 but I was always very smart about using protection just in case. In Dec. 2005 when I met Robert he told me he had a kid from his 1st marriage. I then told him I wouldn't ever be able to have children. Three months later the one time we had a slip up and didn't use a condom I was late and took a test. To my surprise came back positive. I then went to Robert at work and told him, went home and told my parents. The next morning I took another. Same answer. So we went to Planned Parent Hood (PPH) to make 100% sure. I took their test and they called us into the room and asked if this was a planned pregnancy. We of course said no and she then said and I quote "Oh really? In that case You're NOT pregnant" We were releived at the time and decided I should get on some birth control. So that next day or so I had the IUD put in.
Five months of horrible pain and a nasty smell I went in and had it removed. Within 24 hrs they called and asked me if I knew I was pregnant and that the fetus was dead. Horrified I asked them if their was anyway to know if it was before or after I had the IUD in, they of course said no. But I knew in my heart I really was pregnant and they had killed my baby, but proving it would be a challenge so I vowed to never go back to PPH. I would go accross the street to The Care Center. I was 3 weeks along
Two to three weeks later I was pregnant agian. It was so quick I barely had time to know. I took a test came back positive within 3 days. I was having really bad cramping and heaving bleeding I went to the ER and was told I had a miscarriage. I cried and took it pretty hard. I was only 4 maybe 6 weeks along
A year later I got pregnant agian, this time I was over 6 weeks pregnant when I found out and was real excited. But I was taking depression meds and they caused my uterus lining to be too thin. I never would have made it too term. I was 9 weeks.
My last pregnancy was the hardest. I got pregnant just 2 days before we were to get married. This one I knew almost right away but I only had 1 test say yes the other 15 said no. So I didn't have a 100% yes till I was about 6 weeks. This pregnancy was scary for me because I wasn't with Robert and I had had 3 previous pregnancies that didn't go to term. So I got straight into the OB and told him about the other 3 and he wanted me on bed rest.
I couldn't do that. I was single living with roomates. I had to work or I would have no where to live. So he said ok but I was on light light duty no lifting over 15lbs and not to be on my feet more than 10-15 min at a time. I'd also have appointments every week to watch the pregnancy closely.
16 weeks along the person I was suppose to be working with didn't show to work so I was at work with the residents all alone. When I went to put one to bed they fell on top of me. I immediately called the owner had them come over and I went straight to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and the baby was fine. I found out it was a boy. We later named him Aiden.
The next day I went to my OB and he scolded me and really pushed I go on bed rest. I said I would in a few more weeks once Robert and I moved back in together. He said that was fine, but now I would not be able to be on my feet more than 10 min a day and no lifting more than 5lbs.
So I continued to work for the next few weeks. Then yet again that same person called in and didn't show for their shift, so I had to cover mine alone and theirs. I was about 2 hrs into the graveyard shift and another resident had fallen on the floor. I called the owner to come get them off the floor and the owner said they weren't coming, that I needed to deal with it. I was so pissed off. I went into the residents room and tried to get them off the floor. It took me forever. Finally when I got the resident onto their feet to sit in the bed they lost their balance and fell smack ontop of me. Once I finally got our from underneath them and into bed I called the owner agian and said they needed to send someone over the resident had fallen on me and I needed to go to the ER. The owner said I should have called 911 to get the resident off the floor and not done it. I thought you M.F.'er!! Why didn't you say that!! 45 min later my relief person shows up, I called the hospital and they said if the baby is moving he's fine and I should go home and rest. So thats what I did because the baby was moving a lot.
The next morning I got up and he wasn't moving. I called Robert he told me to go in. I went to the ER and they couldn't find his heart beat. They did an ultrasound and he wasn't moving. He had died. His embilical cord wrapped around his neck and there was no way to have known. I was 21 1/2 weeks.
Now two years later we have been trying and trying, no luck. I had fertitliy drugs and then surgeries. Now we are hoping more then ever to get pregnant. We've been married a year in a half and have been through so much pain. Since my surgery in Jan 2011 we have been trying without trying. We are waiting on the Clomid and then hoping to get pregnant.
So please all I ask if next time you become pregnant or have an abortion remember there are many people out there just like me who are unable to have children of their own without help from doctors and even then don't get pregnant. If you or someone you know is pregnant and dont want the baby please consider adoption. The moment of conception it is a baby. I dont care what the courts or demorcrats say you at one time were that fetus and your parents called you a baby.
Thanks for reading and your support. If I offend you I'm sorry but this is my blog and my life. And this is how I feel. I dont judge you if you have had an abortion, one of my best friends has had one. It's your choice what your choose, but know 8 of 10 woman regret having an abortion. And of those 8 over 1/3 will commit suicide. Some won't be able to have kids agian due to an infection or mal practice. So really think.
Rachel
PLEASE KNOW THIS IS GRAPHIC DETIALS THAT ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN TO READ SOME PARTS ARE DISTURBING.
As you have read my relationship with my husband has been very rocky, with medical and emotional issues. This time I'm taking you somewhere thats very near and hard on my heart......
My Pregnancies!!
I have been pregnant four times. But before I get there I'll start from the begininning.
When I was seven I started what doctors thought was my cycle, but then soon came to realize it was something wasn't right. I had many test and ultrasounds done, doctors came to the conclusion I would likely never have children of my own without fertitlity help and even then my chances were extremely low. So basically I was told not to count on ever getting pregnant.
I lost my virginity at 17 but I was always very smart about using protection just in case. In Dec. 2005 when I met Robert he told me he had a kid from his 1st marriage. I then told him I wouldn't ever be able to have children. Three months later the one time we had a slip up and didn't use a condom I was late and took a test. To my surprise came back positive. I then went to Robert at work and told him, went home and told my parents. The next morning I took another. Same answer. So we went to Planned Parent Hood (PPH) to make 100% sure. I took their test and they called us into the room and asked if this was a planned pregnancy. We of course said no and she then said and I quote "Oh really? In that case You're NOT pregnant" We were releived at the time and decided I should get on some birth control. So that next day or so I had the IUD put in.
Five months of horrible pain and a nasty smell I went in and had it removed. Within 24 hrs they called and asked me if I knew I was pregnant and that the fetus was dead. Horrified I asked them if their was anyway to know if it was before or after I had the IUD in, they of course said no. But I knew in my heart I really was pregnant and they had killed my baby, but proving it would be a challenge so I vowed to never go back to PPH. I would go accross the street to The Care Center. I was 3 weeks along
Two to three weeks later I was pregnant agian. It was so quick I barely had time to know. I took a test came back positive within 3 days. I was having really bad cramping and heaving bleeding I went to the ER and was told I had a miscarriage. I cried and took it pretty hard. I was only 4 maybe 6 weeks along
A year later I got pregnant agian, this time I was over 6 weeks pregnant when I found out and was real excited. But I was taking depression meds and they caused my uterus lining to be too thin. I never would have made it too term. I was 9 weeks.
My last pregnancy was the hardest. I got pregnant just 2 days before we were to get married. This one I knew almost right away but I only had 1 test say yes the other 15 said no. So I didn't have a 100% yes till I was about 6 weeks. This pregnancy was scary for me because I wasn't with Robert and I had had 3 previous pregnancies that didn't go to term. So I got straight into the OB and told him about the other 3 and he wanted me on bed rest.
I couldn't do that. I was single living with roomates. I had to work or I would have no where to live. So he said ok but I was on light light duty no lifting over 15lbs and not to be on my feet more than 10-15 min at a time. I'd also have appointments every week to watch the pregnancy closely.
16 weeks along the person I was suppose to be working with didn't show to work so I was at work with the residents all alone. When I went to put one to bed they fell on top of me. I immediately called the owner had them come over and I went straight to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and the baby was fine. I found out it was a boy. We later named him Aiden.
The next day I went to my OB and he scolded me and really pushed I go on bed rest. I said I would in a few more weeks once Robert and I moved back in together. He said that was fine, but now I would not be able to be on my feet more than 10 min a day and no lifting more than 5lbs.
So I continued to work for the next few weeks. Then yet again that same person called in and didn't show for their shift, so I had to cover mine alone and theirs. I was about 2 hrs into the graveyard shift and another resident had fallen on the floor. I called the owner to come get them off the floor and the owner said they weren't coming, that I needed to deal with it. I was so pissed off. I went into the residents room and tried to get them off the floor. It took me forever. Finally when I got the resident onto their feet to sit in the bed they lost their balance and fell smack ontop of me. Once I finally got our from underneath them and into bed I called the owner agian and said they needed to send someone over the resident had fallen on me and I needed to go to the ER. The owner said I should have called 911 to get the resident off the floor and not done it. I thought you M.F.'er!! Why didn't you say that!! 45 min later my relief person shows up, I called the hospital and they said if the baby is moving he's fine and I should go home and rest. So thats what I did because the baby was moving a lot.
The next morning I got up and he wasn't moving. I called Robert he told me to go in. I went to the ER and they couldn't find his heart beat. They did an ultrasound and he wasn't moving. He had died. His embilical cord wrapped around his neck and there was no way to have known. I was 21 1/2 weeks.
Now two years later we have been trying and trying, no luck. I had fertitliy drugs and then surgeries. Now we are hoping more then ever to get pregnant. We've been married a year in a half and have been through so much pain. Since my surgery in Jan 2011 we have been trying without trying. We are waiting on the Clomid and then hoping to get pregnant.
So please all I ask if next time you become pregnant or have an abortion remember there are many people out there just like me who are unable to have children of their own without help from doctors and even then don't get pregnant. If you or someone you know is pregnant and dont want the baby please consider adoption. The moment of conception it is a baby. I dont care what the courts or demorcrats say you at one time were that fetus and your parents called you a baby.
Thanks for reading and your support. If I offend you I'm sorry but this is my blog and my life. And this is how I feel. I dont judge you if you have had an abortion, one of my best friends has had one. It's your choice what your choose, but know 8 of 10 woman regret having an abortion. And of those 8 over 1/3 will commit suicide. Some won't be able to have kids agian due to an infection or mal practice. So really think.
Rachel
Monday, April 4, 2011
Our Story Ch. 3 Part 1
Year two of our marriage has definitely changed. I had surgery on Jan. 17th and everything went well and our odds of having kids the doctor thinks increased. So he gave me some provera to help start a period again in April because of just having a D&C and clearing everything out. He also gave me Clomid to stimulate ovulation. So when we are ready to get preggo we can. But first we needed to get back on our feet. We may have been living in our own place but we were barely making it, so we knew something needed to change.
Robert started looking for a better job or 2nd part time job anywhere and everywhere. He was especially looking the the St. Louis area near my parents. I had asked him why and he said he wanted me to be happy, which then I replied what ever made you think I wasn't happy? Then we dropped it, but he continued looking for jobs everywhere, all types.
A few weeks passed maybe even a month and every time I would get on Craigslist it was always left on St. Louis. So I began to truly think about moving and him being serious. Within a few days we were toying with the idea again and truly weighing our options and discussing what we thought was going to be best for us as a family and get us back on our feet.
I called my dad to ask him a few questions and came to find out WUSTL was hiring and after a year of employment they would pay for you to go back to school for any program you chose they had. So I ran the info by Robert. It was soon after we really started deeply considering moving from WA to MO.
By the end of Jan. we were still on the fence but knew we needed to make a choice; 1. Move to Missouri, go to school, and better our lives or 2. Find a new apartment more affordable with hopefully less jerks of landlords. One night we were laying in bed and I finally said Missouri or Washington and gave him 5 sec to answer. After months of deliberation we had finally reached a decision we were moving.....but first we had to talk to our families and friends to get their support.
Robert talked to his dad and I talked to his mom, both were very supportive and sad we were leaving but reassured us we needed to go where we could better our lives and do what was best for us. Family was always going to be there and always just a phone call away. It was then we knew we had made the right decision. We were leaving for St. Louis in March.
So we gave our notice to the landlords, packed up and moved with friends until we left. It was a scary decision and very difficult. Then came moving day, we said goodbye to family and friends, had dinner with his parents and hit the road to Missouri.
As we were pulling out of Robert's parents house I leaned over and asked "Are you ready to start a new chapter of our lives? Ready to spread our wings and fly?
We drove 2200 miles in 3 days of snow, ice, wind, rain, sun and anything else mother nature threw our way.
March 14 we arrived in St. Louis unpacked and got settled.
Since we have been here we still feel as though we made the right choice moving and continue to talk about having a baby soon, but wanting jobs and a car first. We currently live with my parents and are waiting to hear back from jobs we applied for and Robert's waiting for training to start at WUSTL.....
We may not be quite where we want to be, but it takes time. We are loving life, missing family, friends and Washington, but are very much in-love......we hope a baby will complete our family soon....but not too soon.....but if it happens HEY we'll be happy.....
Ch. 3 Part 2 is being written as I type......stay tuned for updates.
Thanks for reading....
Rachel
Robert started looking for a better job or 2nd part time job anywhere and everywhere. He was especially looking the the St. Louis area near my parents. I had asked him why and he said he wanted me to be happy, which then I replied what ever made you think I wasn't happy? Then we dropped it, but he continued looking for jobs everywhere, all types.
A few weeks passed maybe even a month and every time I would get on Craigslist it was always left on St. Louis. So I began to truly think about moving and him being serious. Within a few days we were toying with the idea again and truly weighing our options and discussing what we thought was going to be best for us as a family and get us back on our feet.
I called my dad to ask him a few questions and came to find out WUSTL was hiring and after a year of employment they would pay for you to go back to school for any program you chose they had. So I ran the info by Robert. It was soon after we really started deeply considering moving from WA to MO.
By the end of Jan. we were still on the fence but knew we needed to make a choice; 1. Move to Missouri, go to school, and better our lives or 2. Find a new apartment more affordable with hopefully less jerks of landlords. One night we were laying in bed and I finally said Missouri or Washington and gave him 5 sec to answer. After months of deliberation we had finally reached a decision we were moving.....but first we had to talk to our families and friends to get their support.
Robert talked to his dad and I talked to his mom, both were very supportive and sad we were leaving but reassured us we needed to go where we could better our lives and do what was best for us. Family was always going to be there and always just a phone call away. It was then we knew we had made the right decision. We were leaving for St. Louis in March.
So we gave our notice to the landlords, packed up and moved with friends until we left. It was a scary decision and very difficult. Then came moving day, we said goodbye to family and friends, had dinner with his parents and hit the road to Missouri.
As we were pulling out of Robert's parents house I leaned over and asked "Are you ready to start a new chapter of our lives? Ready to spread our wings and fly?
We drove 2200 miles in 3 days of snow, ice, wind, rain, sun and anything else mother nature threw our way.
March 14 we arrived in St. Louis unpacked and got settled.
Since we have been here we still feel as though we made the right choice moving and continue to talk about having a baby soon, but wanting jobs and a car first. We currently live with my parents and are waiting to hear back from jobs we applied for and Robert's waiting for training to start at WUSTL.....
We may not be quite where we want to be, but it takes time. We are loving life, missing family, friends and Washington, but are very much in-love......we hope a baby will complete our family soon....but not too soon.....but if it happens HEY we'll be happy.....
Ch. 3 Part 2 is being written as I type......stay tuned for updates.
Thanks for reading....
Rachel
Friday, April 1, 2011
Chapter 2- Year 1 of MANY years
Day 1 as Mrs. Rachel Sullivan started out as any other you know waking up to the sound of the ocean, beautiful and peaceful....
Our first year of marriage was anything but smooth sailing, if our relationship was any indication of how our marriage would be we were prepared...So we thought...
The the first 3 months were amazing, very much full of love and everything was new. By this time we had been living with his parents for almost a year and were ready to spread our wings. I was looking for a job and Robert was working at Shop N Kart still.
In Feb. I kept having very sharp pains in my pelvic area again, but this time was unbearable. So I made yet again another appointment for an ultrasound hoping this time I wouldn't leave with them thinking I was crazy as I had left everyother time. The ultasound came and went and they didn't say anything to me. So I made a follow up with my doctor for March 4th after we returned from our trip to Linclon City, OR.
We very much enjoyed every moment of our trip. Relaxed and refreshed we came home not worried or even thinking about my appointment the next day. That happiness soon came to an end.
March 4 I walked in to my doctors office and waited paciently to see him. Once in the room he told me they found a mass in my uterus and was refering me to a doctor who could look further into it, but they had taken a biopsy of it and it came back abnormal and he was over 90% sure it was cancer. But he said not to worry until my next doctor he refered me to took a look. Let me tell you who in their right mind wouldn't worry about that? I let the appointment in tears and cried the whole way home. I didn't even get through the door before my mother in law and Robert's grandma knew something was wrong. I bursted into tears and Robert came out and I had to tell him. A few hours later he had to go to work. The next day I got the call from the next doctor and had an appointment just a few LONG days away. Robert asked for FMLA (family medical leave act) and they fired him the next day :( So here we are worried about me having Cancer and now my husband is unemployed. We had no money, no insurance, at that moment no hope. And only married 3 months.
March 8 it was the day of my appointment to see the specialist. The doctor came in introduced himself and did another ultrasound just to be sure. He also did a PAP at that time as well as another biopsy of the mass. I left knowing the same as when I came only I hadn't had his results yet, it was still a waiting game. Two weeks later I had another appointment this time he confirmed the Cancer in the mass said it was nothing to worry about right now we were going to watch it. It was just a small paulup only 5cc big. But results came back for the PAP and I had HPV and needed to have a colposcopy which is were they do a presedure like a PAP but they use iodin and vinigar to see if there is any cancer cells to pop out. Needless to say they thought I had cervical cancer but no abnormalties popped out. So we set an appointment for 3 months later for a check uo on the mass.
April 1 Roberts Grandma Sherry died and it was a very devistating moment, she had been sick for a very long time. May 11th My Aunt Brenda died after years of pain an suffering. July 27th Robert's Grandpa Rick died, this was a shock almost he had just finished Chemo and radiation and within months found out the cancer had spread to his spine.
July 7th I came in for my appointment and they did another ultrasound and found the paulup had gone from 5cc to 3cm. It was they he decided to start me on chemo meds to prepare me for chemo. They made me very sick and weak. Made an appointment for 3 months later.
Oct. 7th I came in again for yet another appointment and was not looking forward to it. This time he did another ultrasound and he couldnt see anything due to the linning in my uterus being too thick. So he told me I needed to take provera to make a period come and that he had been going over the results of my case and he didn't thing I was going to ever be able to have kids without fertility help if at all unless he can fix me.
So I took the meds and had my cycle from hell. Came back 2 days after it ended and had another ultrasound. This time the meds had worked and did their job and he could see everything he needed to in my uterus, but what he saw was not good. They found a tumor at the top of my uterus and it was HUGE 9cm the size of a babies head! He called in an emergancy surgery as soon as possible, but the next opening wasn't till Jan. 17th. That was over a month away.
Nov. 18 2010- Our on year anniversary. We had a nice steak dinner at home. And we reflected on the last year. In one year we went through Cancer twice and still battling, both were unemployed, living with his parents, Robert found a new job 9 months into out marriage, we moved into our own place and were thinking about moving to Missouri. We had 3 deaths in the family, Grandma Sherry, Grandpa Rick and Aunt Brenda.
After this year of marriage I think we can make it through ANYTHING don't you??
Chapter 3 is still being written.... will blog updates as they come. Part 1 coming soon....
Our first year of marriage was anything but smooth sailing, if our relationship was any indication of how our marriage would be we were prepared...So we thought...
The the first 3 months were amazing, very much full of love and everything was new. By this time we had been living with his parents for almost a year and were ready to spread our wings. I was looking for a job and Robert was working at Shop N Kart still.
In Feb. I kept having very sharp pains in my pelvic area again, but this time was unbearable. So I made yet again another appointment for an ultrasound hoping this time I wouldn't leave with them thinking I was crazy as I had left everyother time. The ultasound came and went and they didn't say anything to me. So I made a follow up with my doctor for March 4th after we returned from our trip to Linclon City, OR.
We very much enjoyed every moment of our trip. Relaxed and refreshed we came home not worried or even thinking about my appointment the next day. That happiness soon came to an end.
March 4 I walked in to my doctors office and waited paciently to see him. Once in the room he told me they found a mass in my uterus and was refering me to a doctor who could look further into it, but they had taken a biopsy of it and it came back abnormal and he was over 90% sure it was cancer. But he said not to worry until my next doctor he refered me to took a look. Let me tell you who in their right mind wouldn't worry about that? I let the appointment in tears and cried the whole way home. I didn't even get through the door before my mother in law and Robert's grandma knew something was wrong. I bursted into tears and Robert came out and I had to tell him. A few hours later he had to go to work. The next day I got the call from the next doctor and had an appointment just a few LONG days away. Robert asked for FMLA (family medical leave act) and they fired him the next day :( So here we are worried about me having Cancer and now my husband is unemployed. We had no money, no insurance, at that moment no hope. And only married 3 months.
March 8 it was the day of my appointment to see the specialist. The doctor came in introduced himself and did another ultrasound just to be sure. He also did a PAP at that time as well as another biopsy of the mass. I left knowing the same as when I came only I hadn't had his results yet, it was still a waiting game. Two weeks later I had another appointment this time he confirmed the Cancer in the mass said it was nothing to worry about right now we were going to watch it. It was just a small paulup only 5cc big. But results came back for the PAP and I had HPV and needed to have a colposcopy which is were they do a presedure like a PAP but they use iodin and vinigar to see if there is any cancer cells to pop out. Needless to say they thought I had cervical cancer but no abnormalties popped out. So we set an appointment for 3 months later for a check uo on the mass.
April 1 Roberts Grandma Sherry died and it was a very devistating moment, she had been sick for a very long time. May 11th My Aunt Brenda died after years of pain an suffering. July 27th Robert's Grandpa Rick died, this was a shock almost he had just finished Chemo and radiation and within months found out the cancer had spread to his spine.
July 7th I came in for my appointment and they did another ultrasound and found the paulup had gone from 5cc to 3cm. It was they he decided to start me on chemo meds to prepare me for chemo. They made me very sick and weak. Made an appointment for 3 months later.
Oct. 7th I came in again for yet another appointment and was not looking forward to it. This time he did another ultrasound and he couldnt see anything due to the linning in my uterus being too thick. So he told me I needed to take provera to make a period come and that he had been going over the results of my case and he didn't thing I was going to ever be able to have kids without fertility help if at all unless he can fix me.
So I took the meds and had my cycle from hell. Came back 2 days after it ended and had another ultrasound. This time the meds had worked and did their job and he could see everything he needed to in my uterus, but what he saw was not good. They found a tumor at the top of my uterus and it was HUGE 9cm the size of a babies head! He called in an emergancy surgery as soon as possible, but the next opening wasn't till Jan. 17th. That was over a month away.
Nov. 18 2010- Our on year anniversary. We had a nice steak dinner at home. And we reflected on the last year. In one year we went through Cancer twice and still battling, both were unemployed, living with his parents, Robert found a new job 9 months into out marriage, we moved into our own place and were thinking about moving to Missouri. We had 3 deaths in the family, Grandma Sherry, Grandpa Rick and Aunt Brenda.
After this year of marriage I think we can make it through ANYTHING don't you??
Chapter 3 is still being written.... will blog updates as they come. Part 1 coming soon....
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Chapter 1 before I was Mrs. Sullivan
OK so what a better place to start than the beginning right?
In Nov. 2005 fresh out of high school I had to find a job. I started working at Shop N Kart as a cashier before too long I was really getting into the swing of things. After about a month Robert came though my line just to harass me. When he realized I pitched it right back he began to flirt, and of course I flirted back. It was that day I really saw him. Before then he was just the annoying guy I called for price checks. Before long we were talking nightly on the phone and everyday at work. I would make an excuse just to see him when I was off. Lets just say I should be a partial owner of Fuji apples and Tillamook yogurt.
After three weeks of talking I came into the store one night and got my regular Fuji apple and Tillamook yogurt, but this night was different Robert followed me out to "collect carts" and we stood and talked for an hour or more, this man would not let me go to my car to get my coat and let me tell you it was in the low 30's outside. That night when he got off work and called me I told him he owed me, for making me stand outside in the freezing cold. He then asked me to be his girlfriend and GUESS WHAT!!! I said NO!! I said no because who asks someone out over the phone. Surely I was not going to be courted that way. The next day I surprised him at work and he sat in my brothers car and asked me to be his girl, this time of course I said YES!! It was then we had our first kiss and let me tell you I felt that from my head to my toes and EVERYWHERE in between. It was then I knew I had found "The One." I had never felt that way before when I kissed anyone.
It was the next day Dec. 22 I went to his parents house to meet them and they lived what seemed like out in the middle of no where, I thought for sure he was taking me somewhere to kill me. Cause really who has you meet their parents on day two of dating? We sat and talked for hours and made our for over half the night after his parents went to work. It was then I fell in love. I never did tell him till later tho.
As our relationship was new and fresh it was not smooth sailing and not to bore you more then you may already be lets just say they called our relationship a "light switch" we were on and off all the time, weekly really. Here's the story behind that.
I was 19 when Robert and I started dating. He was 26.
Robert has had two serious girlfriends. Me and his ex-wife Jen. Now I'm not going to get into that whole story but lets just make a long story short. He was married for three months before separating because she didn't know how to keep their bed clean. Needless to say Robert had some trust issues along with the fear of letting someone in again and not get hurt. So our relationship was very much a rollar coaster.
On Feb. 12, 2006 I was sitting at his house waiting to surprise him and more anxious then ever because this was the night I knew I was defiantly in love with this man and I wanted him to know. He came in the house and with tear filled eyes I told him "We need to Talk." I told him I needed to tell him something and he said he also had something also. I let him go first hoping he was going to say I Love You first.... and he did!! I was so happy. I had never told someone that before or even came close to feeling that way before him.
Needless to say after that our relationship got worse he started pulling away and wanting to run. Nov. 9 2006 was the worst day of my life. I went down to Oregon to visit and was raped. Robert drove all night to come get me from the hospital after I was examined. Even though we were broken up at the time he was there for me it was then I was reassured him and I would be together forever. Robert stood by me through all the emotions and hell I went though. He then became not only my boyfriend but my best friend, but he continued to tell me he was never getting married again. I just stood by and waited until he came to his senses. After 3 years of waiting, breaking up, open relationships, living together, and constant arguing he finally asked me to marry him.
Nov. 15th 2008 was our wedding date....but Nov. 1 2008 I had some second thoughts and we had still a lot of issues to work through before I could walk down the isle. So I called off our wedding 2 weeks before. After that Robert and I separated and lived in different places.
Months later I found out I was 9 weeks pregnant. To my surprise I got pregnant after not using any birth control for three years. I called Robert and told him we needed to talk. At this time he was going out and trying to forget about everything. We met at my house and I told him that I was pregnant. Let me tell you that was the happiest I had seen him in awhile. I thought it was exactly what we needed to get over this trust hurtle.
After finding out I was pregnant we still lived separate but stayed with each other a few times a week. He was still doing his thing while I did mine. Then I started having issues with my pregnancy and was told told to take it easy. So Robert and I moved in together after living apart for 3 months.
After that the pregnancy seemed to be going fine and Robert and I were doing OK, but I still wasn't sure he was the one anymore or that he had changed. So I decided we needed to live apart.... far apart I planned on Moving to Missouri with my parents and he could come later if he wanted. I would leave in May after my rap case was settled.
March 12th 2009 I had a miscarriage. His umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck and he died. It was the saddest day for the both of us. It was then I knew I really needed to move and really truly figure out if Robert and I were meant to be.
I left for Missouri in May and it wasn't long before we both realized how much we loved one another and wanted to be together. We lived apart for three months before I moved back to Washington. We then decided it was time to tie the knot. So we did Nov. 18, 2009 at Ocean Shores with just his parents our witness' and my parents on the phone, and of course the minister. It was the best day of my life. I married my best friend. So then begins Chapter 2 as Mrs. Sullivan.....
Coming Soon.....
In Nov. 2005 fresh out of high school I had to find a job. I started working at Shop N Kart as a cashier before too long I was really getting into the swing of things. After about a month Robert came though my line just to harass me. When he realized I pitched it right back he began to flirt, and of course I flirted back. It was that day I really saw him. Before then he was just the annoying guy I called for price checks. Before long we were talking nightly on the phone and everyday at work. I would make an excuse just to see him when I was off. Lets just say I should be a partial owner of Fuji apples and Tillamook yogurt.
After three weeks of talking I came into the store one night and got my regular Fuji apple and Tillamook yogurt, but this night was different Robert followed me out to "collect carts" and we stood and talked for an hour or more, this man would not let me go to my car to get my coat and let me tell you it was in the low 30's outside. That night when he got off work and called me I told him he owed me, for making me stand outside in the freezing cold. He then asked me to be his girlfriend and GUESS WHAT!!! I said NO!! I said no because who asks someone out over the phone. Surely I was not going to be courted that way. The next day I surprised him at work and he sat in my brothers car and asked me to be his girl, this time of course I said YES!! It was then we had our first kiss and let me tell you I felt that from my head to my toes and EVERYWHERE in between. It was then I knew I had found "The One." I had never felt that way before when I kissed anyone.
It was the next day Dec. 22 I went to his parents house to meet them and they lived what seemed like out in the middle of no where, I thought for sure he was taking me somewhere to kill me. Cause really who has you meet their parents on day two of dating? We sat and talked for hours and made our for over half the night after his parents went to work. It was then I fell in love. I never did tell him till later tho.
As our relationship was new and fresh it was not smooth sailing and not to bore you more then you may already be lets just say they called our relationship a "light switch" we were on and off all the time, weekly really. Here's the story behind that.
I was 19 when Robert and I started dating. He was 26.
Robert has had two serious girlfriends. Me and his ex-wife Jen. Now I'm not going to get into that whole story but lets just make a long story short. He was married for three months before separating because she didn't know how to keep their bed clean. Needless to say Robert had some trust issues along with the fear of letting someone in again and not get hurt. So our relationship was very much a rollar coaster.
On Feb. 12, 2006 I was sitting at his house waiting to surprise him and more anxious then ever because this was the night I knew I was defiantly in love with this man and I wanted him to know. He came in the house and with tear filled eyes I told him "We need to Talk." I told him I needed to tell him something and he said he also had something also. I let him go first hoping he was going to say I Love You first.... and he did!! I was so happy. I had never told someone that before or even came close to feeling that way before him.
Needless to say after that our relationship got worse he started pulling away and wanting to run. Nov. 9 2006 was the worst day of my life. I went down to Oregon to visit and was raped. Robert drove all night to come get me from the hospital after I was examined. Even though we were broken up at the time he was there for me it was then I was reassured him and I would be together forever. Robert stood by me through all the emotions and hell I went though. He then became not only my boyfriend but my best friend, but he continued to tell me he was never getting married again. I just stood by and waited until he came to his senses. After 3 years of waiting, breaking up, open relationships, living together, and constant arguing he finally asked me to marry him.
Nov. 15th 2008 was our wedding date....but Nov. 1 2008 I had some second thoughts and we had still a lot of issues to work through before I could walk down the isle. So I called off our wedding 2 weeks before. After that Robert and I separated and lived in different places.
Months later I found out I was 9 weeks pregnant. To my surprise I got pregnant after not using any birth control for three years. I called Robert and told him we needed to talk. At this time he was going out and trying to forget about everything. We met at my house and I told him that I was pregnant. Let me tell you that was the happiest I had seen him in awhile. I thought it was exactly what we needed to get over this trust hurtle.
After finding out I was pregnant we still lived separate but stayed with each other a few times a week. He was still doing his thing while I did mine. Then I started having issues with my pregnancy and was told told to take it easy. So Robert and I moved in together after living apart for 3 months.
After that the pregnancy seemed to be going fine and Robert and I were doing OK, but I still wasn't sure he was the one anymore or that he had changed. So I decided we needed to live apart.... far apart I planned on Moving to Missouri with my parents and he could come later if he wanted. I would leave in May after my rap case was settled.
March 12th 2009 I had a miscarriage. His umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck and he died. It was the saddest day for the both of us. It was then I knew I really needed to move and really truly figure out if Robert and I were meant to be.
I left for Missouri in May and it wasn't long before we both realized how much we loved one another and wanted to be together. We lived apart for three months before I moved back to Washington. We then decided it was time to tie the knot. So we did Nov. 18, 2009 at Ocean Shores with just his parents our witness' and my parents on the phone, and of course the minister. It was the best day of my life. I married my best friend. So then begins Chapter 2 as Mrs. Sullivan.....
Coming Soon.....
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